I was a Jerk and I am Sorry

I want to share with you a part of my story, a painful part. But first:

I want you to say what you want to say. If you feel the need to vent or march or put on a ski mask and club people or pepper-spray them, I want you to vent or march. Clubbing and pepper-spraying people… not so much. I wore a uniform years ago and it was my privilege and duty to protect our rights, one of which is the First Amendment. The right to free speech predates the First Amendment, but that’s another post.

I complained about the previous administration. I disagreed with the policies of the party in power and I stood with my brothers and sisters who disagreed. I demonstrated my solidarity by sharing posts and pictures and clips on social media.

Nothing Changed.

Well, that’s a lie. “Andy Leonard is a liar.” Go ahead and post that and link back to this post (especially since comments are disabled). You may be thinking, “Andy, I’d never post that! You’re finishing the introduction of a blog post and about to make a point, I’m sure. Why would I post…”

Indeed. Why?

I posted and re-posted because I was angry. I didn’t like the direction our country was headed. I wanted it to change. Someone needed to do something, to stand up and be counted. By jivities, I would add my voice and be counted among them.

So, what changed? Three things:

1. I lost friends. In the social media economy, it’s easy to believe I’m so helpful that people would continue to follow and listen – even put up with my politics and maybe, just maybe be persuaded to take another look at the other “side.” It turns out that the social media economy behaves differently: People will un-follow you and instead miss the helpful stuff you share. It is way easier to irritate people enough so that they stop following you, regardless of how many books, free utilities, and helpful blog posts you write.

There is now a sign in my office:

Who is this helping?

2. At least one company stated they would never hire me or my company to do work for them. There were probably more than one, but I only learned of this one. You may think that’s awesome or terrible. It can be both at the same time, depending on which “side” you support and with whom you agree.

3. I built unnecessary barriers between myself and people with whom I may have been able to share the gospel. I type this with trembling fingers. The rest is nothing compared to this.

The gospel of Christ causes offense. I will continue to share the gospel on social media. I will continue to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves, and this will continue to cause offense. It will, perhaps, cause other companies to not want to work with me. It will, perhaps, cost me more friends.

My goal isn’t to stop offending.

My goal is to stop offending unnecessarily.

How Social Media Changed My Vote

Social media changed my vote in the 2016 US presidential election. If you ever want to post “‘A social media post changed my vote,’ said no one, ever,” you cannot. I ruined the curve. (Apologies…)

Until a day or two before the election, I was trying to decide which candidate would receive my vote. It wasn’t going to be Clinton or Trump. I was bouncing back and forth between 3rd-party candidates.

A friend who was a staunch supporter of Clinton posted pro-Clinton and anti-Trump comments on my political posts. While I didn’t support Trump for president, I didn’t like the overt anti-Trump bias in the media. I suppose my friend interpreted my posts about anti-Trump media bias as “pro-Trump.” I understand that.

I care about a handful of issues. One of them is abortion on demand. I viewed Clinton and Trump as pro-choice (I was fond of telling people, “Trump has been pro-life for about 15 minutes.”).

I grew tired of the online debate in October 2016 and began un-following people I felt were being belligerent. Mind you, I was being belligerent. </HypocrisyAlert> My friend was not dissuaded. After I un-followed him, he continued posting anti-Trump posts and he began tagging me in them to make sure (I think) I would see them. I believe he was trying to get me to change my vote.

It worked. I read some of the links he posted. One of them played a clip from one of the debates in which Trump promised to nominate textualist judges for the federal benches. I’d missed that. What did that mean? It meant the judges Trump promised to nominate would not “discover” rights in the US Constitution, they would interpret the text, to the best of their ability, as the founders intended.

Almost all textualist judges oppose abortion on demand. So I decided to vote for Trump for that reason.

There’s still plenty I don’t like about the man, personally and professionally. I voted for Trump because the president of the US can make a difference in the abortion on demand policies by nominating judges, and I believe he will keep his campaign promises. (I could be wrong. Time will tell.)

Lesson Learned

As for social media, my tone and frequency of political posts has changed. I post less frequently about politics. When I find myself about to comment or re-post something political, I glance at my office sign and ask myself, “Who is this helping?” If the answer is, “Just me,” I don’t post it. That happens about 95% of the time these days. Maybe more…

In the social media economy, unnecessarily offending those with whom I disagree is like a social media tax. I reduce the value of my thoughts and my sphere of influence, and that influence could be put to better use… like spreading the gospel. If I’m offended and I intentionally seek to offend in response, I’m doing the opposite of what a Christian is supposed to do.

This book – Unoffendable – helped me reach these conclusions. You might want check it out, especially if you find yourself stressed by those with whom you disagree.

Conclusion

I was a jerk. And I am sorry.